You know how it goes.
You make a promise that you’re going to _________________.
2019 is going to be your year to ______________________.
This time you’re actually going to ______________________.
But then by January 10th you’re sliding back into your old habits while simultaneously feeling immense amounts of guilt while you struggle to get back on the goal train.
Goals can be tricky.
They’re so easy to set. Not so easy to achieve.
But what if it’s not about the goals you set, but how you’re setting them that’s making it hard for you to actually make it happen?
There are 3 main reasons why you have a tough time reaching your goals.
1. You aren’t super clear on what you actually want.
This isn’t about getting specific – like how many pounds you want to lose, or what you want your meals to look like – it’s actually about the feeling you’re after.
You see it’s never about losing those 10lbs. It’s always about how you want to feel (or how you think you’ll feel) if you lose those 10lbs. The weight is irrelevant. You could feel that way now without losing it.
So we need to focus on that feeling instead of the thing we think we want. Because if we focus too much on the tangible outcome, we miss what we’re actually after.
2. You don’t know what will actually work to make your goals happen.
Say you decide you want to workout 3 times a week.
So, how are you going to make that happen? What steps are you going to take? Is there a proven formula you can follow to make that happen?
It’s so easy making the goal. It’s a lot harder mapping out how you’re going to get there – especially if you’re a total newbie and have no idea what you’re doing (we’ve all been there).
3. You’re not paying attention to what you’re already doing that’s working (or not working) to help you get there.
You don’t need to overhaul your entire life to make some amazing changes.
Sometimes it’s simply about looking at what’s already making it easy (or easier) for you to stick to healthy habits and avoiding the traps that sabotage your success.
Now that we’re clear on that…
So with these 3 goal-disrupters in mind, let’s re-think the goals you want to achieve this year, shall we?
It’s a simple process. All you need to do is answer these 6 questions:
- How do I want to feel this year?
- What worked in 2018 (or last year) to help me feel that way?
- What happened in 2018 (or last year) that stopped me from feeling that way?
- What do I need to keep doing in 2019 (or this year) to help feel that way?
- What do I need to start doing in 2019 (or this year) to help feel that way?
- What do I need to stop doing in 2019 (or this year) to help feel that way?
Yes. I know.
I said it was simple. Not necessarily easy! Ha!
The hardest part for most people is coming up with the feeling part.
How do you want to feel?
No one really asks you that right?
They say “What do you want to get, have, do, be?”
But I’m asking you how you want to feel.
That’s different and can feel a little weird, scary, frustrating… because you just don’t know.
Well let’s try this.
Go onto thesaurus.com and type in a word that resonates with you.
Let’s try a nice easy one like “happy”.
What comes up?
Lots of goodies!
Then from there you can refine it, and refine it some more until you’ve come up with one (or a handful) of words that describe how you want to feel this year.
Then you move onto the next question.
“Well whenever I ate a salad it made me feel at peace because I knew I was making a healthy choice that would give me lots of energy.”
Great! So eating salad makes you feel that way. What else? Keep going.
Then move onto the next question.
What stopped you from feeling that way?
“Well I remember I stopped exercising for about a month. I just fell off the wagon and couldn’t get back on and it made me angry and frustrated with myself.”
Okay. Good to know. So this year, if that happens, what are you going to do?
Then keep going. Keep thinking of what could stop you and make a plan to not let those saboteurs getcha.
Then hop to the next one.
What do you need to keep doing?
“I need to keep stocking my fridge with vegetables I actually like to eat instead of the ones I think are “good” for me but I don’t actually want to eat so they just sit and grow mold until I can throw them out because ‘oh shucks! They’re too moldy to eat!'” 😉
Excellent! What else?
Once that feels complete, go to the next question.
What do you need to start doing?
“Figuring out what workouts I want to do and scheduling them into my calendar for the week so I don’t just play it by ear and end up only getting one random workout in on Friday.”
What do you need to stop doing?
“Depriving myself only to binge later. I need to remind myself that nothing is off limits. I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want – knowing that the burger and fries is great every once in a while but it won’t make me feel how I want to feel if I eat it all the time.”
Great insight! You’re so smart 🙂
Now let’s get to work.
Yes. I get that this seems time consuming. And it can be.
But so much of success comes from how we set ourselves up.
If it’s really important for you to ___________________ this will help you immensely.
Would you rather exclaim “I’m going to _________________!” then have no plan to actually make it happen so your chances of reaching it are itty-bitty slim?
Or would you like to have a plan? A step-by-step strategy? A way to get back on the wagon whenever you fall off (because you know you will fall off and that’s okay, because everyone does but you have a plan to get back up and running without skipping too many beats).
I like the sound of the plan.
It’s a lot of work upfront with a lot of reward potential in the back.
And you don’t need to figure out everything right now. You can use this process throughout the year – especially as things come up or your priorities shift.
Just start somewhere with a few different ideas and grow from there.
Does this feel like something you can do?
Do you have any questions about the process?
What feeling do you think you want to go for this year?
Let me know in the comments below. I’m here for you.
P.S. Seriously. Comment below and let me know how you want to feel this year and ask any questions you have about this process. I’m here to help.