Maybe you’ve been told you’re “too much” or “too sensitive”
You shut down during a fight and can’t explain why. Or you hyperfocus on someone so intensely it feels like Hollywood love at first sight…. until something shifts, and you don’t understand what changed. Or you’ve masked all day and come home with absolutely nothing left for the person you love most.
Maybe you simultaneously crave connection but need alone time and are struggling to find the right balance where everyone’s happy. Or you feel a deep sense of insecurity – like you’re constantly waiting for your partner to tell you they’re leaving you. Or you have a tough time asking for what you need because you’re used to being told you’re “too needy” or “too much.”
Maybe you read the room before you’ve finished walking into it. You instantly noticed the shift in their voice, the half-second pause before they answered, the text that came without the emoji when there’s always an emoji…. and now you can’t stop thinking about it. Replaying it. Certain you did something wrong. You have heaps of empathy. You feel everything, at a volume most people will never experience. And somewhere along the way, you got so good at managing everyone else’s feelings that “what do you want?” became the hardest question in the world to answer because you were too busy taking care of everyone else.
When you’re a neurodivergent woman – you have ADHD, autism, or AuDHD – these patterns make sense once you understand how your brain actually works. And why the same relationship struggles keep happening to you over and over again.
Let me be clear: there’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re not bad at love. You just haven’t been given the tools to make sense of it from a woman-focused, neurodivergent-affirming lens.
I help neurodivergent women build happier relationships that actually work with their unique wiring.
I’m a registered provisional psychologist (and I’m AuDHD myself.) I specialize in helping neurodivergent women build happy, healthy relationships that work with their unique brains, rather than trying to “fix” them, or make them neurotypical.
I got into this work because I kept seeing the same thing over and over: smart, self-aware, deeply caring women who had been in therapy before and still felt unseen. They’d been given relationship advice designed for neurotypical brains.
Told to “just communicate your needs more clearly” or “stop overthinking it” or “don’t take it so personally” or “just relax and stop trying so hard”…. and when it didn’t work, they blamed themselves.
That’s not a you problem. That’s a tools problem.
I learned I was AuDHD in my 40s. It changed everything.
The first time I wondered, “Wait… maybe I’m neurodivergent” I was doing my master’s practicum at a practice that specialized in supporting neurodivergent clients.
I was learning the patterns. Reading the research. Sitting with clients who were finally getting language for what their brains had been doing all along. And the more I listened, the more familiar it sounded.
The masking exhaustion. The way conflict could pull me offline in an instant. The sense, for as long as I could remember, that I was working harder than the people around me just to do the things that seemed to come naturally to everyone else. Making and keeping friends. Not letting the small things get to me. Being comfortable in social situations. Staying focused on the things I really should be doing rather than getting distracted by shiny objects….
That question: “wait, am I neurodivergent?” turned into years of self-identification. And then, in 2026, into a formal assessment that confirmed what I’d suspected for a long time: I’m AuDHD.
There was so much relief. And grief.
Relief because suddenly I had language for things I’d spent years trying to fix in myself. I didn’t know I didn’t need fixing. I didn’t know I simply had an AuDHD brain that needed a different kind of support.
And grief. For the version of me who spent decades thinking she just needed to try harder. Be calmer. Be less. Be more. The years of self-blame for things that were never personal failings in the first place.
And like so many women, I’d collected other labels first. The anxiety. The “you’re so sensitive.” The sense that I was the high-maintenance one. Nobody had thought to ask whether a different brain might be underneath all of it, because I didn’t look like the version of neurodivergent everyone was trained to spot.
I tell you this because it’s the lens I bring to every conversation I have with my clients. When you sit down with me, you’re not sitting down with someone who’s read about your brain in a textbook. You’re sitting down with someone who knows what it’s like to suddenly understand herself for the first time.
And to want, more than anything, to feel understood by your partner. For your relationship to finally feel like a place you don’t have to mask to be loved. A place where you feel true, genuine belonging.
Most couples therapy is built on neurotypical patterns.
It doesn’t take into account that a neurodivergent woman usually notices every bid, every micro-shift, every flicker of a mood, and then burns so much energy managing all of it that she loses track of what she actually needs herself. It doesn’t take into account that she’s over-functioning, and quietly drowning in the process.
Or that “I feel” statements assume real-time emotional awareness, which can be a challenge for neurodivergent women who can’t access or articulate emotions on demand (especially during conflict or when in shutdown – which is not a choice she’s making, by the way. It’s just what automatically happens when her nervous system is overwhelmed and she goes into a protective state.)
Or that a securely attached woman can look avoidant when she needs extended alone time. Or that she can come across as “disconnected” or that she’s “not trying hard enough” when her sensory and touch needs don’t match neurotypical intimacy norms.
Neurodivergent brains work differently. Different doesn’t mean disordered.
The “blunt autistic” stereotype isn’t the typical story for neurodivergent women either. A lot of us got socialized so hard out of directness that we swung the other way, into an exhausting state of niceness, until we lost any notion of what we actually wanted. And the idea that neurodivergent women lack empathy is usually so far from the truth. For most of the women I work with, it’s a Niagara Falls amount of empathy (with no off switch.)
The best way to ensure your needs are met with your partner – and that you can meet your partner’s needs – is to take into account how your unique brain works. Not just as a neurodivergent person. But as a neurodivergent woman, specifically.
I built my practice around a simple belief: your brain isn’t broken. It has strengths and challenges, and both deserve support. The goal isn’t to make you neurotypical. It’s to find strategies that work with your wiring (not try to “fix” you into being someone else.)
I bring 20+ years of experience in mental health and wellness, including a background in fitness and nutrition coaching. I know that the brain and body are deeply connected, and I bring that whole-person perspective into our work together.
Neurodivergent women navigating love and relationships.
I work with ADHD, autistic, and AuDHD women. That might look like….
The “ohhh… that’s why” moment
You just got diagnosed (or you saw yourself in that TikTok video and have self-identified as neurodivergent) and suddenly your entire relationship history makes sense. You want someone who can help you figure out what to do next (without trying to make you someone you’re not.)
Speaking different languages
You’re in a relationship where one or both of you are neurodivergent and the communication feels like you’re speaking different languages. You love each other, but the patterns: the shutdowns, the misreadings, the executive function battles…. are wearing you down.
Therapy didn’t quite work
You’ve been in therapy before and it didn’t quite work as well as you’d hoped. The advice felt generic. The therapist was empathetic but didn’t really understand your brain. My take? Therapy can absolutely work for you. You just need a neurodivergent-affirming approach.
My practice is inclusive and affirming. I’m sex-positive, kink-affirming, and welcome clients in all relationship structures: monogamous, consensually non-monogamous, polyamorous, and open. LGBTQIA2S+ individuals and relationships of all configurations are welcome here.
Real tools designed for brains that work differently.
- Understanding your brain. Not in a textbook way, in a “this is why I do that thing” way. We’ll map how your ADHD, autism, or AuDHD shows up specifically in your life and relationships so you finally have language for patterns that have confused you for years.
- Communication that actually works for your wiring. Not the “I feel X, when you Y” scripts that never felt natural. Real tools designed for brains that process conflict differently, that notice everything and then go blank, or that have spent years translating themselves just to be understood.
- Navigating the hard stuff. Conflict shutdown and repair. Hyperfocus-to-withdrawal cycles. RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and how it impacts your perception of your partner’s words and actions. PDA (pathological demand avoidance) and how the experience of being expected to do something can make doing the things you actually want to do that much harder. Masking exhaustion and having nothing left for your partner at the end of a long day. The people-pleasing and good-girl conditioning that taught you to set your own needs aside. Executive function challenges and the invisible load of shared responsibilities. And so very much more.
- Building a relationship that fits your brain. Not one that requires you to mask, perform, or push through. A relationship with flexible structure, communication, and connection strategies designed around how your brain actually works, so you can stop feeling like your relationship is nearly broken and start feeling more emotionally safe and secure.
I don’t do one-size-fits-all therapy.
I pull from several evidence-based approaches and adapt them for neurodivergent brains. Everything I do is strengths-based: we start from the assumption that your brain has real strengths alongside its challenges.
Attachment Theory & Emotion Focused Therapy
To understand your relationship patterns and build more secure connections. Many neurodivergent women have attachment styles that look “insecure” but make perfect sense once you factor in their wiring.
Internal Family Systems Therapy
To help you understand the different parts of yourself and uncover the invisible beliefs that drive your self-sabotage behaviour.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
For emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness, adapted to work with your sensory and processing needs.
Somatic Therapy
Because for many neurodivergent women, the body holds what the brain can’t articulate. We’ll work with your nervous system, not just your thoughts.
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy
For practical, actionable steps you can use right away. You’ll leave sessions with tools, not just insights.
Strengths-based
Our work is about building on what’s already working, not fixing what’s “wrong.” The goal isn’t to make you neurotypical, it’s to find what fits your wiring.
The fancy-pants version
I’m a Registered Provisional Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. I hold a Master of Arts with Distinction in Counselling Psychology from Yorkville University and a BA Honours in Psychology from the University of Calgary. I also have a background as a personal trainer and nutrition coach, because I know how powerful the brain-body connection can be. Sometimes your body holds feelings your brain can’t articulate.
I have over 20 years of experience in mental health and wellness across the non-profit and private sectors. I’m constantly expanding my training in psychology-based tools and neurodivergent-affirming practices to make sure my clients get the most current, evidence-based support available.
Ready to talk?
If you’ve read this far and something resonated, that’s worth paying attention to. You don’t need to have it all figured out before reaching out. You don’t even need to know exactly what you want to work on. “I just realized my brain works differently and I think it’s affecting my relationships” is enough.
I offer in-person sessions in Calgary and secure virtual sessions throughout Alberta.
Book your free consultationOr send me an email at jenna@jennadalton.com