Jenna Dalton

If you read my last post on couples therapy strategies that need rethinking for neurodivergent brains, you might have found yourself nodding along thinking, “Oh. So that’s why that didn’t work so well for us.”

Good news: there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with those tools. They were just built for a different brain than yours.

So here’s part two. Seven more widely used couples therapy tools – the ones that show up in bestselling books, therapy offices, and Instagram infographics everywhere – and why they need to be reconfigured when neurodivergent brains are in the picture.

These are wonderful, often well-researched tools that can work like magic – especially for neurotypical couples. They just need to be tweaked to work for your unique brain. The goal of each tool is usually still valid. It’s simply the delivery that needs to be shifted.

[Read more…] about 7 More Couples Therapy Tools That Were Built for Neurotypical Brains (And How to Rebuild Them So They Work For You)

If you’ve ever left a couples therapy session thinking, “Hmmmm I’m not sure this will actually work for me…. ”, you’re probably onto something important.

Most couples therapy strategies were developed with neurotypical brains in mind. That doesn’t make them bad strategies. But when one or both partners are neurodivergent – ADHD, autistic, or both – these well-meaning techniques can fall flat, backfire, or leave you feeling even more broken than before.

Your brain isn’t broken. You just need tools that were actually designed for how your brain works.

Let’s look at seven of the most common couples therapy strategies and how they need to shift when neurodivergent brains are in the room.

[Read more…] about 7 Common Couples Therapy Strategies That Don’t Work for Neurodivergent Brains (And What to Do Instead)

You’ve been reading about neurodiversity for months. Maybe longer. Every article, every TikTok, every late-night Reddit thread hits you somewhere deep and you think, “This is me. This is literally describing my entire life.”

But then the next thought lands: “But I haven’t been officially diagnosed. So maybe I’m just making it up. Maybe I’m not actually neurodivergent. Maybe I shouldn’t describe myself that way.”

I want to tell you something clearly: you do not need a formal diagnosis to start understanding how your brain works, to use strategies that help neurodivergent people thrive, or to build a relationship that actually fits your wiring. A diagnosis can be a powerful tool. But it is not the only door into self-understanding – and for a lot of people, it’s a door that’s locked, expensive, or hidden behind a two-year waitlist.

You don’t need a piece of paper to prove what you instinctively know to be true.

[Read more…] about You Don’t Need a Diagnosis to Start Understanding Your Brain

If you’re neurodivergent, you’ve probably had the experience of reading relationship advice that felt almost right – but not quite. Like the shape was familiar, but the edges didn’t totally match your experience.

Part of the reason is that “neurodivergent” is a broad umbrella. And within that umbrella, ADHD and autism can show up in romantic relationships in very different ways – sometimes even in opposite ways. If you’re in a relationship where one partner has ADHD and the other is autistic (which is actually pretty darn common), or there are mixed neurotypes (one person is neurodivergent while the other is neurotypical), understanding these differences isn’t just helpful. It’s essential.

And if you’re someone who has both – AuDHD – buckle up, because your internal experience might feel like a tug-of-war between competing needs. Let’s break it down.

[Read more…] about The Hyperfocus Honeymoon vs. the Slow-Burn Bond: ADHD and Autism in Love

You’ve met someone. You like them. Maybe you really like them. And now your brain is doing the thing it always does – running the Masking Program at full capacity. You’re carefully monitoring your facial expressions, editing your texts three times before pressing send, mirroring their energy, acting like you remember the details of that conversation you had last Sunday, suppressing your stims, pretending you’re fine with the brain-crushingly loud restaurant, and generally performing the version of yourself that you think they’ll find most lovable.

It’s exhausting. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you know it’s not sustainable. Because at some point, the mask will slip. And then what?

If you’re neurodivergent and you’ve been through this cycle before – mask, attract, exhaust yourself, let the mask slip a little, they notice a difference and wonder what’s going on because something seems…. off, the relationship ends before it really even got a chance to get going – I want you to know something:

You are not broken. The mask was a survival strategy. It was useful to help you feel comfortable and safe. But you aren’t stuck in this cycle for the rest of your life. And you get to decide when and how you start taking that mask off. I’m here to help.

[Read more…] about They Fell for the Mask. Now What? A Guide to Showing Up Authentically in Love as a Neurodivergent Human

If you’ve ever Googled “why am I so anxious in relationships,” there’s a good chance you stumbled onto attachment theory. Maybe you took a quiz, got labelled “anxious” or “avoidant,” and thought, “Well, that explains everything.”

And honestly? Attachment theory is a genuinely useful framework. Understanding how you bond with people, what triggers your fear responses, and what you need to feel safe in relationships – that’s powerful information.

But here’s the problem: traditional attachment theory was developed by studying neurotypical brains. And if your brain is neurodivergent – you have ADHD, autism, or both – a lot of what looks like an “attachment style” might actually be something else entirely.

[Read more…] about What Attachment Theory Gets Wrong (If You’re Neurodivergent)