When you aren’t as far along as you’d hoped you’d be by now, it can get frustrating and bleak.
You thought you’d feel stronger by now.
You thought you’d feel better by now.
You thought you’d be able to do those sit-ups, pull-ups, planks without any symptoms by now.
And when you aren’t feeling better, getting stronger, or seeing results as fast as you’d like, the natural tendency will be to want to push harder, do more, find a better, more challenging, different workout.
Because that’s what you’ve always done, right?
When you wanted to reach a fitness goal you just pushed harder and made it happen.
So why is that not working now? Why is that not the right choice now?
Because – while pushing harder may give you a temporary feeling of “Yes. Good. I’m doing it” – it won’t solve the actual problem. It won’t give you the results you were hoping for – especially not without way more risk involved.
Yes. When the results aren’t pouring in, it’s tempting to believe you just need to workout more or find the perfect killer workout.
But the truth is that you need the right strategies and the right exercises, in the right way, at the right time.
It’s tempting to assume that doing some “mom safe” core exercises for a few weeks and then diving right back into your usual pre-baby workout is the best choice.
But the truth is that you can’t just rebuild your core.
You need to know the strategies to take into every workout you do so that all that hard work you’ve just done isn’t derailed when you go to lift heavy and can’t connect to your core in the way you need to in order to feel supported and stable.
It’s tempting to think that a local Mommy and Me fitness class is going to be safe and the right choice.
But the truth is that – while there are tons of fitness professionals with great training under their belt and a strong understanding of all the intricacies of postpartum fitness – there are also, unfortunately, a lot who just don’t get it.
From a physical and mental standpoint.
They don’t get that burpees at 8 weeks postpartum isn’t what your pelvic floor or adrenals need. They don’t get that motivating you with the idea of fitting back into your pre-baby pants isn’t helping your emotional or mental health.
So you need to be choosy about who you work with.
It’s tempting to believe that you could do it before so why shouldn’t you be able to do it now?
But the truth is that you can’t keep living in the past.
Yes you can feel super strong again.
Yes you can do that workout again.
Yes you can stop constantly worrying about what your diastasis or prolapse is doing.
But this isn’t an overnight process.
I know you’re so sick of hearing “It took 9 months to grow that baby, your body isn’t going to change overnight” but it’s the truth.
Patience really is key.
And while these may be truths you don’t want to hear, they’re truths you need to hear.
Because if you’re truly ready to feel stronger, happier in your body, more confident, capable and like you can just be free to do all the things and enjoy your life (and a killer workout) without worrying if your diastasis is going to get worse, then these are the truths you need to embrace.
You’re used to being able to push yourself.
You’re used to feeling strong enough to try.
You’re used to being drenched in sweat or else it’s not a “good enough” workout.
And while you can absolutely have all this again, it will take time.
And that’s okay.
It has to be okay.
Because, honestly, the alternative is to ignore any signs and symptoms, push yourself beyond where your body is ready to go, and try to force it to change.
Which sounds super risky.
You would never yell at your baby, “You should be walking by now! Stop crawling and just walk!”
They’re just not ready.
They need more time.
Give yourself that same grace. Practice that same patience with yourself.
Adopt the right strategies, at the right time, in the right way.
I know you are.
You’re a driven, passionate, capable woman.
You can do this.
You can adopt the best strategies, have the patience, build your strength back up.
While being in this space where you aren’t getting the results you wanted by now can feel downright gloomy, the flip side is to see this as your chance to really learn, really grow, really embrace the approach you need to feel empowered in your body – now and in the future.
I know you wish you were farther along by now, but maybe you’re exactly where you need to be to learn the lessons that need to be learned.
P.S. Have a friend who’s so frustrated and just wants to push herself before she’s truly ready? Send her some love and this post.