I’m fascinated by success.
What makes one person more successful than another?
Why are some moms so successful in the gym while other moms struggle to reach their goals?
So when I came across the “9 Habits of Highly Successful Athletes” in Louise Green’s book Big Fit Girl, I was inspired to share my own take on this idea.
As I was reading her book, I found myself literally nodding my head and – if it weren’t for my sleeping toddler in the next room – there probably would have been a few excited exclamations of “Ooooooh! Yes! So true!”
(I’m especially in love with #7).
Now you may be thinking, “I’m not an athlete, Jen. So this doesn’t apply to me.”
But you are. I consider any woman (or person) who wants to move her body for a specific purpose or reach a specific goal, an athlete.
And the Merriam-Webster dictionary agrees with me. They define an athlete as, “a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina.”
That means that any mom who exercises is an athlete. Including you.
Heck, just being a mom and all the physical demands that taking care of kiddos requires makes you an athlete!
You don’t need to be gunning for the Olympic games to embrace an Olympic-like mindset. (I feel like that needs to be on a motivational poster somewhere 😉 ).
So try these habits on for size and tap into your inner athlete so you can reach your goals faster and easier.
1. Positivity is their default.
The most successful people in the world usually have one important trait in common.
When they’re up against a challenge or obstacle they don’t wallow in, “I’ll never win” soup forever. They stay optimistic and explore the possibilities.
They’re positive thinkers.
And, as Barbara Frederickson’s research shows us, positive thinkers – people who think with a glass half full mentality – develop what she calls a Broaden and Build mindset.
This mindset helps open their mind so they can explore a lot more options. That means that being a consistently positive thinker can make it easier for them to see more possibilities, so they can get better results.
Yes. Being a positive thinker is actually scientifically shown to make you more effective at whatever you want to do.
And the good news is that you get to decide what kind of person you want to be. A Wallower. or a Possibility Seeker.
As Stephen Covey says in his incredibly popular book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “Between stimulus and response, {wo}man has the freedom to choose.”
And the science backs him up.
Harvard researcher Shawn Achor summed it up perfectly when he said, “Scientifically, happiness is a choice.”
So decide to be happy – and let that help fuel your results in the gym.
I’m not suggesting you plaster a fake smile on your face and pretend that every training session is amazing, every second of your life is fantastic and that squat that just ripped a ginormous hole in your tights is exactly what you were hoping for. Thank you universe. #blessed.
No, not at all.
This isn’t about faking it until you make it. This is about looking for the true positives and embracing them.
Because gratitude for the good that is already in your life can do wonders to create even more awesome results – in and out of the gym.
2. They set specific goals, make a plan and follow health and wellness programs with that specific vision in mind.
Countless studies have shown that the best goals are specific goals.
“Get healthy” is okay – but pretty vague.
“Workout every week” is better – but still not specific enough.
“Workout 3 days a week for 90 days with the goal of being strong enough to do 5 pushups in a row – from my toes – at the end of those 90 days” is the best – now we’re talking specifics.
So what do you want to achieve? Make it specific. Ditch the vague. And go after it in a strategic way.
When I train my clients I take them through programs that are designed to help them get progressively better results – the results they’re hoping for. It’s not just a random jumble of exercises smashed together in a haphazard way each week. It’s part of a whole, a system, a program that goes on for weeks or months to help them get where they want to go.
Because sure, you’ll maybe get stronger, maybe lose some weight, maybe get some results just by showing up and doing a few random exercises here and there.
But following an actual program can get you better results, faster.
And if it’s not in the cards (or your budget), you don’t need to hire a trainer.
There are a lot of options for programs you can buy and do on your own. And there are lots of trainers, like me, who write programs for clients and send them their way to do on their own. That way you can get the expert help without needing to pay in-person rates.
So start exploring your options and be more mindful with your training.
The more specific your goals, the more strategic you go about reaching them, the faster and easier you’ll get there.
3. They celebrate their victories (even the seemingly small ones)
When you’re head down, in the muck striving to reach your goals it’s easy to miss the celebration-worthy milestones along the way.
We expect success to be this big, loud, bam in our face.
But the truth is that success looks a lot like a bunch of tiny victories all smashed together to create a wonderfully whole result.
So while you – of course – want to keep tracking and training and aiming for that big goal at the end of the tunnel, you also want to boost your motivation by embracing the small wins along the way.
Research even shows that the most successful people – in health, business and life – are the ones who do celebrate the daily wins, the daily progress. These are the people who are happiest and most motivated to keep going.
So start enjoying your progress.
If you’re a note taker, fitness tracker, or lover of journaling, keep a log of your workouts. At the end of every workout write down something you’re proud of, something you did that you couldn’t do before, something that can help motivate you to keep going.
Although it’s more aimed at businesses than in the health and wellness motivation realm, you could even use an app like i done this to remind yourself daily how awesome you are and how many little wins you’re collecting.
The bonus is that when you’re having one of those days where you’re questioning everything, feeling like you aren’t making any progress, and you just want to crawl under a blanket with a box of Oreos, you can look back at all the awesome things you’ve already accomplished and get fired up to get back out there and collect some more.
4. They understand that they may not always love the process, but they love the results and that’s what fuels them.
The truth is that no one actually likes working out. No one.
What we like is the feeling working out gives us. The results. The benefits. The “Oh my goodness I feel amazing”-ness of it all.
Exercise is hard. And sweaty. And – honestly – sometimes boring.
There’s a reason we need sweet beats (or nerdy podcasts if you’re me) to pass the time. We need a distraction so we aren’t stuck ruminating over the fact that this is our 100th bridge of the day. Whoop-whoop!!
So do what you need to do to make it as enjoyable as possible – great tunes, workout friends, catching up on your fave podcasts – and remind yourself why you’re doing this.
It all comes back to why. Why is what drives us (and convinces us to get out of bed an hour before anyone else to get our workout on).
When you know why you’re doing this – and the big picture of it all – convincing yourself to work out when you don’t want to will be easier. Because you’ll remember that you really do want to workout so you can reach that goal.
We all have those days.
We just don’t want those days to turn into weeks or months.
So when it’s been a day, give yourself the space to rest, then get back on that horse tomorrow, my friend.
5. They don’t let life constantly get in the way of their goals.
One of the best parts of being an adult is all the choices you get to make.
All those years of whining that your parents are so controlling are finally over. You get to call the shots.
So call them.
And call them according to what you want in the long-term, not what you want right now.
Because, sure staying up to watch a third episode of Stranger Things does sound snazzy, but how will that feel at 5:45am when your alarm is barking at you to get up and go get your workout in?
Will you just be tempted to turn it off and roll over?
Again, life happens. There will be days where the exhaustion sets in – because your baby was up all night teething – and you need a break. Your body needs a break. That’s cool.
Just don’t make a habit of mindlessly sabotaging your goals and setting yourself up for failure.
I heard a great tip a while back. I unfortunately can’t remember who said it but whoever they are, they know things. They said:
“If you’re so tired that the only thing you have the energy to do is watch TV or play on your phone, go to sleep.”
Indeed!
Creating healthy habits begins with being disciplined enough to create healthy boundaries – and know when instant gratification isn’t worth sabotaging the potential for long-term gains.
If your goals are important (which I’m guessing they are) act accordingly, my friend.
6. They appreciate that hard work is involved but they’re in it to win it so they go for it.
With my daughter’s love of dinosaurs (I constantly have the Dinosaur Train theme song running in the back of my mind) I imagine her coming up to me one day and saying, “I want to be a paleontologist.”
My response will probably be something like, “That sounds awesome. It’ll be a lot of hard work, but I know you can do it.”
Why is it so easy to fight so hard for our kids’ dreams and so easy to give up on our own?
You want to run a 10K again – without any symptoms? Awesome! Go for it!
You want to be strong enough to do an unassisted pull-up? Great! Get after it!
You want to have the best booty on the block? Fantastic! Break out the mini band!
Yes. It won’t be easy. But remember that you don’t have to do it alone (bring along a trainer, friends, family to help), you don’t have the do it flawlessly (you’re allowed to make mistakes), and let’s be honest, you’re a mom. The strength you embraced to grow and nurture a tiny human is an incredible foundation to build from.
You’ve got this.
7. They cut themselves some slack.
As Louise Green said, “Not all workouts will be great, but successful athletes learn from their not-so-good workouts and their mistakes and see shortcomings as opportunities to improve. Everyone has a bad workout sometimes. Highly successful athletes know this and show up anyway.”
Yes!!
You’d never expect perfection from your little one. Don’t put that same pressure on yourself.
Perfectionism is toxic sludge that no mom needs in her life.
As Dr. Brene Brown said, “Perfectionism is a way of thinking that says if I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, I can avoid or minimise criticism, blame and ridicule. All perfectionism is is the 20 tonne shield that we carry around hoping that it’ll keep us from being hurt.”
You don’t need to be perfect to reach your goals. You don’t need to be a perfectionist to get results.
But even knowing that perfectionism isn’t helping you, it can be hard to let it go.
One of the reasons why self-compassion can be so hard to come by – especially as a mom – is because we’re constantly worried about what other people might think. We worry that they’re expecting more out of us. We worry that they expect us to be perfect.
“What does my hubby think when I take off my clothes and he sees my stretch marks and belly that I didn’t used to have? Is he not attracted to me anymore?”
“What does that super fit looking lady over there think of me – with my beet red face – trying to lift this kettlebell off the ground? Does she think I’m pathetic?”
“What does the trainer think of me telling her that I need break. Does she think I’m lazy?”
These are real, powerful thoughts. Thoughts that are hard to let go of.
“What will people think?”
It runs through our heads constantly.
But when you release and stop worrying what others are thinking about you, you have more freedom and power to be self compassionate.
You can start by catching these thoughts, and asking yourself, “Am I 100% sure that’s true?”
“Am I 100% sure my husband isn’t attracted to me?”
“Am I 100% sure that the lady over there is judging me?”
“Am I 100% sure that my trainer thinks I’m lazy?”
The answer to this will always be no. Because you can never be 100% sure it’s true. And once you start exploring the idea that your beliefs may be false, that you’re assumptions may not be the truth, you can entertain other possibilities.
Like maybe your husband is attracted to you – even though your body has changed.
Maybe that woman is looking at you because she remembers when she was in your shoes and she’s silently rooting for you to get that bell off the ground.
Maybe your trainer understands that it’s been a tough week and you need a rest more than you need another set of sprints.
Catch those “what will people think” thoughts before they bury too deep in your soul and you’ll have an easier time cutting yourself some slack.
Because when you show yourself some compassionate self love, this won’t be such an uphill battle.
Do you see now why I love #7 so much?
This may be the most important habit of all.
Because when you love yourself enough to want to do good things in honour of you, being healthy will be a lifestyle that’s much easier to obtain and maintain.
Hugs,
Jen
P.S. Did you like this post? If you did, please share it with your friends.
Nice content and ideas that everyone should follow through for their fitness goals.
Thank you, Ingrid 🙂