Let me be see-through straight with you. I’m no saint.
I’ve hoovered my fair share of bags of salt and vinegar chips after 7pm. And I may have also been known to eat my third dessert of the night to the tune of the Game of Thrones opening number.
However, the big difference between the indulging Jen of today and the binge-eating-tear-flowing Jen of yesteryear (look at me using my Game of Throne-y words) is that Jen of today eats a lot more consciously and has her food guilt tamed to a mild meow that only rears its head every once in a while.
I still eat chips and cake and chocolate and bread and pasta. I still eat some things that are less fuel and more a bunch of fat, sugar and salt all crammed together into a lush combination of yum.
But that’s because I’ve worked hard to change my mindset from “I was good today. I ate spinach so I deserve this cookie.” to “Yum that donut looks delicious. I want it. It’s worth it. I’m gonna take a bite and see if it’s as yummy as I hope.”
And that’s what’s going to help you muzzle that voice inside your head yowling “Baby’s in bed. Eat all the things!”
You don’t need to put a lock on your fridge or tape up a pic of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model to shame yourself into not eating a bunch of garbage after dinner.
What’s a heck of a lot more helpful and doable is creating a mindset shift.
Subtle tweaks here and there so you can end the cycle of binge, feel like rubbish, repeat the next night.
There are all kinds of mindset shifts that you can be making but one of the most powerful, but little known shifts is all about triggers and recognizing that the choices you make may not be conscious choices at all.
Are You Choosing The Chips Or Are The Chips Choosing You?
It may sound so simple.
This idea that you choose what goes into your body. You make a choice to pick up that bag of chips. So in order to stop nighttime overeating you just need to use your trusty ol’ willpower to stop yourself, right? Right?
But it goes so much deeper than that.
You may think you’re making a choice, but you may actually be stuck in trigger lockup and not actually making a totally conscious choice at all.
You see we are constantly surrounded by cues. A cue is something that triggers you to do something.
Say you’ve developed a habit of reaching for a cupcake every night for the last 4 nights. And you’ve started to do it without even thinking. Before you know it you’re halfway through the cupcake and you don’t even remember taking your first bite. It just happened. Something – or someone – may have nudged you to eat that cupcake.
How can a cupcake can have that much power over you?
Because psychology. And triggers…
In one study the researchers asked some students to work on a puzzle that was a little like Scrabble – they made words out of random letters. They were in a room alone and a couple minutes into the puzzle a voice came over the intercom demanding that they stop working on the puzzle.
But here’s the thing – before they started the puzzle, half the students were asked to work on a word search where they were told to find words like win, succeed, strive, master and other achievement-related words.
57% of the students who were asked to do the word search before the puzzle kept working on the puzzle after the voice told them to stop. They just couldn’t help themselves. They needed to win.
Only 22% of the students who didn’t work on the word search first kept going.
This means that even seeing words like “win” made 57% of the students ignore a direct request and keep working.
That word search acted as a trigger. They probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you exactly why they had to keep going. They just knew that they did. It was an unconscious urge.
There are thousands of triggers – like that word search – in your life every single day.
So you may feel like you’re making a choice when you’re reaching for that cupcake at 8pm. But your unconscious mind may be making the choice for you.
Before you jump up and say “That’s it! I can’t help it! I’m being cued!” This isn’t me giving you an excuse to eat the cupcake. Quite the opposite.
This is me shaking you by the arms and saying “Wake up! Recognize that the cupcake has got you wrapped around its little finger enticing you to take a bite.”
Get Off The Wheel
You’re like a hamster stuck in a habit wheel that you need to hop out of.
Or, as habit researcher Charles Duhigg puts it more eloquently, there’s a “a simple neurological loop at the core of every habit, a loop that consists of three parts: A cue, a routine and a reward.
To understand your own habits, you need to identify the components of your loops. Once you have diagnosed the habit loop of a particular behavior, you can look for ways to supplant old vices with new routines.”
You’re looking for a feeling, a series of events, a text from your ex or something that lead up to you reaching for those pretzels. And psychologists have narrowed down what could be causing you to crave those deliciously salty crisp nuggets to 5 key things:
1. Locale – where are you?
2. Time – what time is it?
3. Feelings – what are you feeling?
4. Others – who else is with you?
5. Previously – What happened just before you grabbed the Doritos?
So here’s what you do. Put baby to bed as usual and then grab your Nancy Drew notepad and keep it handy. As soon as you yank the Hot Tamales outta the cupboard, start writing. Do this for at least 3 nights so you can start to see a potential pattern. It might look something like this…
Night 1:
1. Locale – home sweet home
2. Time – 7:45
3. Feelings – tired
4. Others – my husband
5. What Happened Just Before – turned on the TV
Night 2:
1. Locale – home sweet home
2. Time – 8:02
3. Feelings – happy, tired
4. Others – no one
5. What Happened Just Before – turned on the TV
Night 3:
1. Locale – home sweet home
2. Time – 7:36
3. Feelings – excited about Game of Thrones
4. Others – husband
5. What Happened Just Before – turned on the TV
After a couple nights it may become obvious what’s nudging you to reach for the chocolate and mindlessly chomp-chomp. Or it might not. You might need a few more nights to get clarity.
You also might discover that more than one thing might be cuing you. Like the time and a certain person. You always get a chocolate bar when you chat with Marg in the break room at 2:45pm. So it may be a combo-platter.
It seems like in the example above that putting baby to bed and turning on the TV has become a trigger. When baby’s in bed and the TV comes on the cravings are unleashed.
Soooo How Do You Stop The Nom-Noms Then?
Well the cool thing about psychology stuff like this is that once you know you can’t un-know. You know you’ve fallen into a trigger trap. The key is to take that knowing and act on it.
You know plopping Junior down for the night and turning on the TV causes you to reach for the snacks. So instead of giving into the unhealthy habit, create a more positive habit that still gives you a yummy reward – without giving you a sugar crash later on.
Tell yourself, “When the TV comes on I’ll _________________.”
Do 30 squats and grab a glass of water.
Snuggle with your hubby.
Look at cute photos of your munchkin.
Watch a YouTube video of baby sloths.
You want to replace the habit of overeating sweet/salty things with a more healthy habit that still gives you a happy “I love my life” rush.
And then after a few nights of replacing the “eat all the things!” habit with your healthier habit, *poof* the spell will be broken and you won’t mindlessly reach for the caramel popcorn anymore.
Repeat. Re-Use. Recycle.
Now that you know your late night eating may be happening because something is triggering you, be more mindful.
It sounds simple, but it works.
This isn’t about depriving yourself. If you really want the ice cream, eat the ice cream. Just eat it mindfully, instead of downing a bowl without realizing you’re barely breathing.
Instead of taking that first bite without thinking ask yourself, “Do I really want this cupcake or am I just eating it because I’m ________?” Bored? Tired? On the verge of tears from the terrible day I just had?
“Am I actually hungry or did Bob just walk by and Bob always makes me think of cookies so I always eat a cookie after I see him?”
“Mmmmm donuts. Wait. I just sat down for the 11am meeting. I always eat a donut in the 11am meeting. Do I even want a donut?”
If you want that donut after consciously sitting with the question for a minute or two – asking yourself whether you actually want it, or it’s just become a habit – go for it. Eat it. Enjoy it. Savour it.
But if you’re realizing that you don’t actually want the donut, it’s just a habit, or a quick fix to try to drown out whatever emotional storm you’ve got going on, own that.
Recognize that you have a choice. You always have a choice.
That cupcake isn’t going to leap down your throat without you picking it up and putting it in your mouth.
You are in control. You get to decide how this ride ends.
It may end in cupcake. Or it may end in you saying “You know, I’m good. I don’t need a cupcake tonight.”
Whatever happens, it’s your pick.
Don’t let the triggers make it automatic. Take the auto-drive off.
Hugs,
Jen
Great post. Thanks Jenna.x
Thanks, Nicola! Glad you liked it 🙂