Jenna Dalton

Your partner asks if you can take out the trash. Simple request. Totally reasonable. But something in your body clenches. It’s not that you don’t want to help. It’s not that you’re lazy. It’s that the moment it became a request – something expected of you – your entire nervous system started pushing back.

Or maybe it’s bigger than chores. Maybe your partner suggests a date night, and even though you want to go, the fact that it’s now a plan makes you want to cancel. Maybe they say “I love you” and you can’t say it back in that moment – not because you don’t feel it, but because the expectation to respond stole the words right out of your mouth.

If this sounds like your life, you might be dealing with a PDA profile – Pathological Demand Avoidance (although I prefer the term Persistent Drive for Autonomy). And when PDA shows up in romantic relationships, it can create some deeply confusing patterns for everyone involved.

[Read more…] about When Love Feels Like a Demand: Understanding PDA in Romantic Relationships

Your partner takes a little too long to text back, and suddenly your brain is writing an entire breakup story. They use a slightly different tone when they say “goodnight,” and you’re lying awake replaying it, convinced something is wrong. They make an offhand comment about dinner, and – even though you try to convince yourself to let it go – you can’t stop turning it over and over in your head.

If any of this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria – or RSD. And if you’re neurodivergent, especially if you have ADHD, this is one of the most misunderstood and under recognized patterns that can wreak havoc on your relationships.

Here’s the thing: RSD isn’t you being “too sensitive.” It’s your brain processing perceived rejection with the volume turned all the way up. And once you understand that, everything shifts.

[Read more…] about It’s Not Overthinking. It’s Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (And It’s Impacting Your Relationship.)

Have you ever noticed how sometimes you can handle stress like a pro, but other times the smallest thing sends you spiralling?

Or maybe you’ve experienced moments where you feel completely numb and disconnected, like you’re watching your life from the other side of a two-way mirror?

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone – and there’s actually a really helpful framework that explains what’s happening.

It’s called the window of tolerance, and understanding it can be a game-changer for managing your emotions and feeling more in control of your responses to life’s ups and downs.

[Read more…] about Understanding Your Window of Tolerance: The Key to Emotional Regulation

How much of your day is spent trying to blend in, be the good boy/girl/person, and adhere to social norms?

Do you ever find yourself sitting in work meetings, nodding and smiling, while internally you feel like your brain is about to explode from the incessant buzzing of the fluorescent lights overhead?

How about being at a busy restaurant for a friend’s birthday that you promised you’d be at weeks ago but you desperately want to retreat to your favourite chair in your house with a good book?

Or what about those times your partner is craving connection and intimacy when the thought of being touched right now makes your skin crawl, but you grin and bear it because you don’t want them to feel rejected?

If you’re neurodivergent, chances are you know this feeling all too well. What you’re experiencing is called masking, and you probably do it more than you realize.

In a world where you’re expected to be a certain way in all situations at all times, the tendency to mask can become this consuming blanket of exhaustion.

But there’s hope. Let’s dive into what exactly masking is, the toll it’s likely taking on you, and how you can start taking small steps to explore unmasking.

[Read more…] about The Hidden Exhaustion: Understanding Masking & Why It’s Time to Let Your Guard Down

Imagine you’re sitting in a crowded coffee shop. Your leg bounces nervously under the table as you struggle to stay calm. You’re on a date with someone you just met a week ago and everything is going wrong.

The espresso machine hisses loudly behind you as the barista yells, “Large latte for Cheryl. Latte for Cheryl! Cheryl!”

Conversations from nearby tables blend together as the overhead lights somehow burn brighter by the minute and the tag on the shirt you’re wearing is digging into your ribs like a dagger.

Your date is talking rapidly about a new project they’re managing at work; often using corporate jargon you don’t quite understand. When he asks, “Enough about me, what about you?” You freeze. Is he asking what you do for a living? Or more generally about you? Who you are? What you like? The pause stretches uncomfortably long. You finally mumble something about what you do for work. Then quickly change the subject and watch his face transform from confusion to boredom as you rattle on about what you’re planning no planting in your garden this year.

Later, you’ll replay this conversation in your head dozens of times, trying to figure out where it went wrong.

When you’re neurodiverse, it can feel like you’re constantly guessing (and second guessing) how to communicate without coming across as weird or anxious or incoherently wordy.

In order to navigate these communication challenges, I’m going to help you understand how your brain works differently and learn how to work with your brain instead of fighting against it.

“Fixing” your brain or trying to make you think or act more like a neurotypical person isn’t what we’re after. Learning how to manage these situations with your unique differences in mind is.

So let’s try some practical tools to help you maneuver through some of the more prickly communication scenarios you may come across.

[Read more…] about Rewiring Connection: 5 Transformative Solutions for Neurodiverse Communication Challenges

How often do you find yourself making decisions that feel like a good idea at the time without any thought as to how they could impact you in a week, month, year, or decade?

The truth is, the decisions you make today become the life you live tomorrow (and for years to come).

This doesn’t mean you need to constantly weigh the pros and cons of every little decision; or become paralyzed by the thought that each decision could make or break your life.

Rather, I want you to consider that you may be making decisions based on what you think you should do, or what feels like a good idea in the moment, rather than what truly matters to you.

[Read more…] about What Drives You? 5 Questions to Discover Your Core Values & Live a Meaningful Life